I Want a Wife: Judy Brady BBS 1st Year Patterns for College Writing

 

Definition Essay 1: I Want a Wife by Judy Brady

About the Essayist 

 

          Judy Brady (born Judith Carole Tollefson in 1937) is an American feminist, writer, and activist best known for her ground-breaking 1971 essay “I Want a Wife,” which appeared in the inaugural issue of Ms. magazine. A member of the New York Radical Women, Brady’s satirical take on traditional gender roles became a defining text of the Women’s Liberation Movement, spotlighting the unequal domestic and professional burdens placed on wives. Over her career, she has written extensively on gender, politics, and social justice, contributing to publications such as The Washington Post and The Nation.

The Main Theme of the Essay

The main theme of Judy Brady’s essay I Want a Wife is gender inequality, particularly the unequal expectations placed on women in marriage. Through satire, Brady highlights the demanding and one-sided responsibilities traditionally assigned to wives—caring for children, managing the household, and supporting their husbands emotionally and socially, all while being expected to remain selfless and submissive. By listing these exaggerated duties from a hypothetical husband’s perspective, Brady critiques the patriarchal norms that devalue women’s labour and autonomy. The essay calls for awareness and change, urging readers to question and challenge societal roles that perpetuate inequality in relationships.

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Summary of the Essay

The essay “I Want a Wife” by Judy Brady, is a very intense essay written by a great feminist writer of her time. The essay was written in 1971 and is about how a wife should conduct herself in the eyes of a male figure. When the essay was written, it had a great impact on the feminist movement of the early 1970s. Many male figures of the time heckled and despised her essay, but for the women of the 1970s, it was a huge step towards their freedom from what, at the time, was considered the norm.

The tone of this essay is serious, but at the same time can be conceived as humorous, sarcastic, and even dramatic. It may not have seemed very serious to men at the time, but the woman could relate to this essay in more than one way. Brady uses ethos throughout the essay, but the first sentence is a good example of how she uses her credibility by saying, “I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.”  This sets the tone for who she is and is the best example of ethos in the essay. Brady also uses logos in her essay and has very logical arguments throughout the essay. One of her logical arguments, I found in the essay, is how men expect too much from their wives.

Brady shows this by listing all of the responsibilities expected from a mother and wife. The list she provides is rather mind-boggling and proves that some of the things men require are just too demanding. Another form of the rhetoric triangle Brady uses is pathos reasoning.  She uses this emotional reason throughout the entire essay. Every sentence she writes is an emotionally charged description of what men expect from their women, and how she believes this isn’t the way a woman should live their life. Brady also uses many different forms of writing throughout her essay.

One form she uses in her essay is figurative language. She uses this in the second paragraph of her essay when she says, “As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife” (Brady). After that, she begins to explain, with great irony, why she wants a wife, and how wives should act in a seemingly man’s world. Brady also uses a form of writing called anaphora throughout her essay. “I want a wife who”, is used at the beginning of many sentences throughout her essay. This is meant to keep emphasizing that a wife is meant to do all these things.

Although most of the things she lists in the essay are made to be humorous, she believes that women aren’t meant to have such a heavy load. Brady also uses hyperbole in her essay to exaggerate her points. One example of this is when Brady says, “I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life.”

Brady Says, “I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes complete responsibility for birth control because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.’’

Now, instead of men trying to make their wives do things for them, they hire maids to do their tasks instead. If I could hire someone to do certain jobs for me the list could seem almost limitless! Although, in all honesty, I would probably hire someone to walk the dog, make dinner two or three nights a week, and fix things when they broke in the house. These are all things that I do to my knowledge, but it would be nice to have someone around, that I hired, to help with the tiny things in life. In the end, Judy Brady was a very influential feminist of her time, and will be remembered through the years for her amazing essay, “I Want a Wife.”            

Comprehension

1.  In one sentence, define what Brady means my wife. Does this ideal wife exist? Explain.

Brady is referring to a woman who makes a disproportionate amount of sacrifices for her husband to keep him happy; she bends constantly to his needs and takes complete control over care for the children and housework. This ideal does not exist; managing all of the tasks and responsibilities that Brady mentions would be next to impossible. Brady also describes the "wife" doing all these things and being quite content about it all, which is difficult to imagine.

2.    List some of the specific duties of the wife Brady describes. Into what five general categories does Brady arrange these duties?

A few of the duties Brady describes the wife doing are keeping track of appointments, cooking dinner, hosting parties, and keeping the home clean. These tasks are divided into the following categories: childcare, housework, sexual availability, appointment/event organization, and putting her career aside.

3.     What complaints does Brady have about the life she leads? To what does she seem to attribute her problems?

Her most obvious reason for "wanting a wife" is her desire to go back to school; she doesn't currently have the means to do so. Her other complaints seem to stem from the smaller obligations she has in her daily life that husbands are generally not expected to have to worry about in the same way that wives are. She feels overwhelmed by how she is expected to stay on top of housework, arrange appointments for the entire family, plan and cook meals, and put her career aside for the sake of her husband. She seems to attribute this problem to the unjust distribution of household-centric labour between husbands and wives.

4.     Under what circumstances does Brady say she would consider leaving her wife? What would happen to the children if she left?

Brady says that she would consider leaving her wife if she found a different woman "more suitable as a wife" than the one she has; she would leave her first wife solely responsible for the children.

Purpose and Audience

1.     This essay was first published in MS Magazine. In what sense is it appropriate for the audience of this feminist publication? Where else can you imagine it appearing?

This essay is very appropriate for a feminist publication because it serves as a criticism of the expectations that many men have for their wives. It focuses on the immense amount of labour that women must stay on top of in their daily lives, much of which goes unappreciated or completely unnoticed by their husbands. This essay could also be appropriate for the opinion section of a newspaper.

2.     Does this essay have an explicitly stated thesis? If so, what is it? If you believe the thesis is implied, paraphrase it in your own words.

No, this essay does not have a stated thesis. I believe the thesis is that she wants someone to do everything a wife does for her.

3.     Do you think Brady wants the kind of wife she describes?

She probably would like to have a wife who does everything stated in the essay. This ideal spouse does not exist, but when you love someone enough, they come pretty close to it. I think Brady wrote this essay because she is tired of having the womanly responsibilities around the home and wants to go to school to learn and be higher up in society.

Style and Structure

1.     Throughout the essay, Brady repeats the words "I want a wife." What is the effect of this repetition?

The effect of this repetition is that it tells the reader everything a wife does that is often taken for granted. It shows them that there are a lot of responsibilities that a wife has.

2.     The first and last paragraphs of this essay are quite brief. Does this weaken the essay? Why or why not?

The briefness of these paragraphs is not an issue. They provide just enough context to frame the main body of the essay, which holds all the important information.

3.     In enumerating a wife's duties, Brady frequently uses the verb arrange. What other verbs does she use repeatedly? How do these verbs help her make her point?

In addition to "arrange", Brady also makes frequent use of the verbs "care," and "make sure". These verbs all relate to organization and caregiving, which are generally tasks delegated to women. Her frequent use of these words is a way to emphasize all the different ways that women are expected to provide care and to "arrange" things.

4.     Brady never uses the personal pronouns he or she to refer to the wife she defines. Why not?

She never uses personal pronouns because she does not want a wife, these are just the responsibilities that she has as a wife.

5.     Comment on Brady's use of phrases such as of course (2, 3, and 7), needless to say (3), after all (7), by chance (8), and naturally (8). What do these expressions contribute to the sentences where they appear? To the essay as a whole?

These phrases serve as reminders that the tasks Brady is listening to are often taken for granted and simply expected to be done. She is trying to point out how ingrained these roles are in society. Women are often brought up being taught how to do household chores, how to be a good hostess, etc., while such skills are far less often passed on to men. This leads to women taking on these burdens out of habit. Conversely, men who have not been made to take on such skills are unable to understand the time and energy such tasks require.

 

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